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Luckily for her, Allie has an actual, legitimate medical excuse for not talking to Miles about That Thing for at least a day, like the fact that she's barely conscious for most of them. She still feels kind of sick and exhausted, but better. The police told her there's not much they can do to find out who slipped a drug in her meal, but the Order's working on it.

In the meantime, Jen's basically redecorated her hospital room with more comfortable blankets and pillows and something like a hundred bouquets of flowers, having dragged along a few of her knights as muscle for setting things up. It takes an hour before Jen finally decides she's settled in enough to leave her alone, and even then, she knows that there's a few more Order members than usual keeping an eye on her hospital room.

She has a conversation to deal with, though, and she hugs her legs to her chest when Miles approaches. "Hey."

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"Yeah."

And god, she's going to cry at this rate. He looks so sweet and so concerned, but she's stealing him away from the Arthur who needs him while she merrily sledgehammers her way through her relationship with Miles.

Merlin led her to sit down on the bed and pulled a handkercheif from seemingly nowhere to dab her eyes with. "What is it?"

"I told Miles about this."

And it didn't go well, she doesn't say.

Miles. The him of the future. And her silence told Merlin far more than her words ever could. Silently, he pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "You fancy him, don't you?" he asked softly.

"I like you. I like both of you. I mean, in some ways you're the same person, even if you're... not. Like how a part of me still wants to love Jen, even if that's not a possibility in this life."

She swallows. "He, um. It's not mutual."

He held her tighter. "I'm so sorry, Allie." Merlin just held her. At least, in this space, she could not be king, she could not be what Destiny had written for her. She could just be a girl. A girl whose heart has been broken by...well, he supposed by him.

She rests her head against his chest.

"It's okay." (It's not.) "It just..." (Seems a little hopeless right now.)

"Just?" He asked gently.

A helpless shrug. "I don't know. I think I've screwed things up."

"We've got a bit of time. Tell me?" Merlin held her and gently rubbed her back.

"It's going to be really weird, for one thing. It could do some damage to our relationship."

And, well, romantic relationship or not, Allie kind of needs her Miles.

"When you say our, you mean you and Miles' relationship?" he asked. "Perhaps I could help somehow?"

"Miles and mine. Yours and mine. Yours and Arthur's. All of the above."

She looks up at him, somewhat dubiously. "How?"

There was a way. But... "I could make it so that we never met. I will always be loyal to you, Allie. No matter what happens."

"Never... what?"

In addition to being endlessly confusing (he could do that? How? Why?), that sounds like an awful solution to this.

"I don't like it either but if our meeting caused you pain in your day then...that's the last thing I want for you."

He looked pained at the thought but if it would ease her pain, then he would do it.

"God, no. You are not doing the martyr thing. No one is making this unhappen, or whatever."

He smiled and hugged her close again.

"Then what brings grief to my liege's heart?"

Now she's not even sure. Not meeting him would have solved a lot of problems, but at the price of not meeting him. That's too high.

"I... maybe I just need some time. To think."

"He doesn't see you in such a way?" He asked gently. It did make him wonder sometimes if his own Arthur thought of him as fondly as Allie does.

She shrugs up a shoulder. "I guess not."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Not your fault."

"So what can we do?"

"I don't know." She shakes her head tiredly. "Like I said, maybe I just need some time."

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emrysambrosius - 2013-12-19 23:38 (UTC) - Expand

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